These Incredible Portraits Weren’t Captured With A Camera, But With A Pencil.

It’s only a model. No, no, no! Yes, yes. A bit. But she’s got a wart. He hasn’t got shit all over him. Well, Mercia’s a temperate zone! The Lady of the Lake, her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite, held aloft Excalibur from the bosom of the water, signifying by divine providence that I, Arthur, was to carry Excalibur. That is why I am your king.

What… is your quest?

The Knights Who Say Ni demand a sacrifice! Look, my liege! No, no, no! Yes, yes. A bit. But she’s got a wart. And this isn’t my nose. This is a false one. I don’t want to talk to you no more, you empty-headed animal food trough water! I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries! Now leave before I am forced to taunt you a second time!

  • The Knights Who Say Ni demand a sacrifice!
  • Shut up! Will you shut up?!
  • Well, Mercia’s a temperate zone!

First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin

Shut up! Will you shut up?! Shh! Knights, I bid you welcome to your new home. Let us ride to Camelot! Shut up! Will you shut up?! Well, I didn’t vote for you. It’s only a model. I have to push the pram a lot.

Blue. No, yel…

Where’d you get the coconuts? And this isn’t my nose. This is a false one. What a strange person. Knights of Ni, we are but simple travelers who seek the enchanter who lives beyond these woods. You don’t vote for kings.

  1. Who’s that then?
  2. And this isn’t my nose. This is a false one.
  3. I don’t want to talk to you no more, you empty-headed animal food trough water! I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries! Now leave before I am forced to taunt you a second time!
  4. Be quiet!
  5. We shall say ‘Ni’ again to you, if you do not appease us.
First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin

Well, I didn’t vote for you. Well, Mercia’s a temperate zone! Who’s that then? I’m not a witch. I don’t want to talk to you no more, you empty-headed animal food trough water! I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries! Now leave before I am forced to taunt you a second time!

Help, help, I’m being repressed!

The Lady of the Lake, her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite, held aloft Excalibur from the bosom of the water, signifying by divine providence that I, Arthur, was to carry Excalibur. That is why I am your king. Well, she turned me into a newt. A newt? No, no, no! Yes, yes. A bit. But she’s got a wart. On second thoughts, let’s not go there. It is a silly place.

Kids Were Abusing This Poor Dog With Sticks. They Had No Idea What Was About To Happen… OMG

You hate me; you want to kill me! Well, go on! Kill me! KILL ME! Father Christmas. Santa Claus. Or as I’ve always known him: Jeff. You hit me with a cricket bat. Heh-haa! Super squeaky bum time!

The Unicorn and the Wasp

I’m the Doctor, I’m worse than everyone’s aunt. *catches himself* And that is not how I’m introducing myself. I am the Doctor, and you are the Daleks! I am the last of my species, and I know how that weighs on the heart so don’t lie to me!

  • Heh-haa! Super squeaky bum time!
  • It’s a fez. I wear a fez now. Fezes are cool.

Forest of the Dead

The way I see it, every life is a pile of good things and bad things.…hey.…the good things don’t always soften the bad things; but vice-versa the bad things don’t necessarily spoil the good things and make them unimportant. I hate yogurt. It’s just stuff with bits in. Annihilate? No. No violence. I won’t stand for it. Not now, not ever, do you understand me?! I’m the Doctor, the Oncoming Storm – and you basically meant beat them in a football match, didn’t you?

Midnight

*Insistently* Bow ties are cool! Come on Amy, I’m a normal bloke, tell me what normal blokes do! You hit me with a cricket bat. You know how I sometimes have really brilliant ideas?

  1. They’re not aliens, they’re Earth…liens!
  2. Annihilate? No. No violence. I won’t stand for it. Not now, not ever, do you understand me?! I’m the Doctor, the Oncoming Storm – and you basically meant beat them in a football match, didn’t you?
  3. You know when grown-ups tell you ‘everything’s going to be fine’ and you think they’re probably lying to make you feel better?
  4. It’s a fez. I wear a fez now. Fezes are cool.
The Impossible Astronaut

Stop talking, brain thinking. Hush. I’m nobody’s taxi service; I’m not gonna be there to catch you every time you feel like jumping out of a spaceship. I’m nobody’s taxi service; I’m not gonna be there to catch you every time you feel like jumping out of a spaceship. No, I’ll fix it. I’m good at fixing rot. Call me the Rotmeister. No, I’m the Doctor. Don’t call me the Rotmeister. *Insistently* Bow ties are cool! Come on Amy, I’m a normal bloke, tell me what normal blokes do!

Journey’s End

I’m the Doctor, I’m worse than everyone’s aunt. *catches himself* And that is not how I’m introducing myself. You hate me; you want to kill me! Well, go on! Kill me! KILL ME! I hate yogurt. It’s just stuff with bits in. You’ve swallowed a planet! Did I mention we have comfy chairs? They’re not aliens, they’re Earth…liens!

Get Ready For Halloween With These Couple Costumes That Actually Rock.

I have traced the Rebel spies to her. Now she is my only link to finding their secret base. Don’t underestimate the Force. You don’t believe in the Force, do you?

The Force Unleashed

In my experience, there is no such thing as luck. What good is a reward if you ain’t around to use it? Besides, attacking that battle station ain’t my idea of courage. It’s more like…suicide. Partially, but it also obeys your commands. I call it luck. Don’t act so surprised, Your Highness. You weren’t on any mercy mission this time. Several transmissions were beamed to this ship by Rebel spies. I want to know what happened to the plans they sent you. Partially, but it also obeys your commands.

  • I can’t get involved! I’ve got work to do! It’s not that I like the Empire, I hate it, but there’s nothing I can do about it right now. It’s such a long way from here.
  • Don’t act so surprised, Your Highness. You weren’t on any mercy mission this time. Several transmissions were beamed to this ship by Rebel spies. I want to know what happened to the plans they sent you.
  • You don’t believe in the Force, do you?
  • Ye-ha!
  • You mean it controls your actions?

The Sith Lords

What?! Hey, Luke! May the Force be with you. What!?

A New Hope

I have traced the Rebel spies to her. Now she is my only link to finding their secret base. Red Five standing by. Alderaan? I’m not going to Alderaan. I’ve got to go home. It’s late, I’m in for it as it is. Ye-ha! I need your help, Luke. She needs your help. I’m getting too old for this sort of thing.

  1. Look, I ain’t in this for your revolution, and I’m not in it for you, Princess. I expect to be well paid. I’m in it for the money.
  2. Your eyes can deceive you. Don’t trust them.
  3. Don’t act so surprised, Your Highness. You weren’t on any mercy mission this time. Several transmissions were beamed to this ship by Rebel spies. I want to know what happened to the plans they sent you.
The Empire Strikes Back

You mean it controls your actions? You don’t believe in the Force, do you? The Force is strong with this one. I have you now. The more you tighten your grip, Tarkin, the more star systems will slip through your fingers.

The Sith Lords

I need your help, Luke. She needs your help. I’m getting too old for this sort of thing. I suggest you try it again, Luke. This time, let go your conscious self and act on instinct. Leave that to me. Send a distress signal, and inform the Senate that all on board were killed. Don’t act so surprised, Your Highness. You weren’t on any mercy mission this time. Several transmissions were beamed to this ship by Rebel spies. I want to know what happened to the plans they sent you. The more you tighten your grip, Tarkin, the more star systems will slip through your fingers.

What One Hiker Found In The Mountains of Tennessee Is Beyond Incredible.

Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try. …And the fluffy kitten played with that ball of string all through the night. On a lighter note, a Kwik-E-Mart clerk was brutally murdered last night. That’s why I love elementary school, Edna. The children believe anything you tell them.

Natural Born Kissers

A lifetime of working with nuclear power has left me with a healthy green glow…and left me as impotent as a Nevada boxing commissioner. Remember the time he ate my goldfish? And you lied and said I never had goldfish. Then why did I have the bowl, Bart? *Why did I have the bowl?* Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It’s what separates us from the animals…except the weasel. Whoa, slow down there, maestro. There’s a *New* Mexico?

  • The Internet King? I wonder if he could provide faster nudity…
  • Duffman can’t breathe! OH NO!

Life on the Fast Lane

Uh, no, they’re saying “Boo-urns, Boo-urns.” I’m a Spalding Gray in a Rick Dees world. Duffman can’t breathe! OH NO! Inflammable means flammable? What a country.

Selma’s Choice

“Thank the Lord”? That sounded like a prayer. A prayer in a public school. God has no place within these walls, just like facts don’t have a place within an organized religion. I’m a Spalding Gray in a Rick Dees world. I hope this has taught you kids a lesson: kids never learn. Facts are meaningless. You could use facts to prove anything that’s even remotely true!

  1. I didn’t get rich by signing checks.
  2. Yes! I am a citizen! Now which way to the welfare office? I’m kidding, I’m kidding. I work, I work.
  3. Our differences are only skin deep, but our sames go down to the bone.
Rosebud

Jesus must be spinning in his grave! Hi. I’m Troy McClure. You may remember me from such self-help tapes as “Smoke Yourself Thin” and “Get Some Confidence, Stupid!” Last night’s “Itchy and Scratchy Show” was, without a doubt, the worst episode *ever.* Rest assured, I was on the Internet within minutes, registering my disgust throughout the world. Aaah! Natural light! Get it off me! Get it off me! We started out like Romeo and Juliet, but it ended up in tragedy.

Cape Feare

Old people don’t need companionship. They need to be isolated and studied so it can be determined what nutrients they have that might be extracted for our personal use. Our differences are only skin deep, but our sames go down to the bone. Hi. I’m Troy McClure. You may remember me from such self-help tapes as “Smoke Yourself Thin” and “Get Some Confidence, Stupid!” Oh, everything looks bad if you remember it. Marge, it takes two to lie. One to lie and one to listen. This is the greatest case of false advertising I’ve seen since I sued the movie “The Never Ending Story.”

This Culture Mourns Their Lost Loved Ones With A Unique Burial Process.

OK, this has gotta stop. I’m going to remind Fry of his humanity the way only a woman can. Hey! I’m a porno-dealing monster, what do I care what you think? Ah, computer dating. It’s like pimping, but you rarely have to use the phrase “upside your head.” I love this planet! I’ve got wealth, fame, and access to the depths of sleaze that those things bring.

The Cyber House Rules

Ummm…to eBay? Hey, guess what you’re accessories to. Ah, yes! John Quincy Adding Machine. He struck a chord with the voters when he pledged not to go on a killing spree.

  • I feel like I was mauled by Jesus.
  • I’m Santa Claus!
  • Leela, Bender, we’re going grave robbing.

Xmas Story

With gusto. Ah, the ‘Breakfast Club’ soundtrack! I can’t wait til I’m old enough to feel ways about stuff! Fetal stemcells, aren’t those controversial? Bender, this is Fry’s decision… and he made it wrong. So it’s time for us to interfere in his life. And remember, don’t do anything that affects anything, unless it turns out you were supposed to, in which case, for the love of God, don’t not do it!

Attack of the Killer App

But, like most politicians, he promised more than he could deliver. Guards! Bring me the forms I need to fill out to have her taken away! Who said that? SURE you can die! You want to die?!

  1. Fry, you can’t just sit here in the dark listening to classical music.
  2. Meh.
  3. If rubbin’ frozen dirt in your crotch is wrong, hey I don’t wanna be right.
In-A-Gadda-Da-Leela

Ah, computer dating. It’s like pimping, but you rarely have to use the phrase “upside your head.” Ooh, name it after me! Or a guy who burns down a bar for the insurance money!

Lrrreconcilable Ndndifferences

Bender, being God isn’t easy. If you do too much, people get dependent on you, and if you do nothing, they lose hope. You have to use a light touch. Like a safecracker, or a pickpocket. Hey, tell me something. You’ve got all this money. How come you always dress like you’re doing your laundry? Or a guy who burns down a bar for the insurance money! I never loved you.

You Won’t Believe How Your Workspace Has Changed Over The Years… Wow.

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Temporibus Autem Quibusdam

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Temporibus Autem Quibusdam

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Porro Quisquam

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